Sandra Bernhard Struts at Pridefest
BY COREY STULCE
On the big screen she’s been covered in melted gold, served trash to Muppet grouches and had nice dreams with Cheech and Chong.
Don’t recall her film roles in "Hudson Hawk" "Sesame Street Presents Follow that Bird" and a C&C dope-fest?
Well that’s because Sandy Bernhard is much better known as a lady of the night, under a spotlight, beaming back nuggets of fashion, politics and the culture of pop with a hilarious, shocking genius flair.
Let’s see how she does in the daytime when the lovely-lipped lady takes on St. Louis Pride as not only a Sunday headliner but also the grand marshal of the parade down Grand Blvd.
Taking a brief break from the 20th anniversary revival of her groundbreaking performance piece "Without You I’m Nothing," Bernhard hits Tower Grove Park on June 28. She caught up with the Vital Voice for a playful Q&A to preview her appearance.
Corey Stulce: If memory serves, the last two times you performed in St. Louis were in 2002, at a small (now closed) club that did not promote the appearance properly, and then during Mardi Gras 2003, when you rocked a show of off-the-cuff, hilarious, improvised new stuff. Do you have any feelings one way or another about the Gateway City?
Sandra Bernhard: When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of meeting someone in St. Louis. Especially during the 1904 World’s Fair. Needless to say that won't be happening, but any opportunity I have to come to St Louis is always welcome.
CS: How do you prep for grand marshal duties in a parade?
SB: A big hat. Lots of sun block. Lots of water. And a lot of fiber. And possibly a parasol.
CS: How early will you plan your parade attire and will it differ from your stage attire?
SB: My hand maidens and I have been scurrying about creating the finest parade attire this side of the Mississippi for that side of the Mississippi.
CS: What is your definition of an extravaganza?
SB: Anything involving Britney Spears.
CS: What are the pluses and minuses for performing for a gaggle of potentially intoxicated gay men and women on a hot, summer day?
SB: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh my god! What's going on?! I love it all!
CS: How do you feel about the gay class system now created by the decision of the California Supreme Court?
SB: It saddens me. It also saddens me that the community did not swell and rise up until it was too late. You have to do the work to reap the rewards. It’ll change. It’s wrong and I think the next generation will look back just as we do and see the absurdity of it all!
CS: What elements are you most pleased with, with the reconstruction of ‘Without You, I’m Nothing’?
SB: Every last ounce of it. It's such a fun show to perform. The audiences have been overwhelmingly positive. We’ll be coming to St Louis soon. Don't you worry!
CS: Who consciously or unconsciously helped shape your abilities as a storyteller?
SB: Danielle Steel and Jackie Collins.
CS: What are the important elements to include when sharing a tale with an audience?
SB: Tea and proper lighting.
CS: What is the most rock and roll thing about you in 2009?
SB: I’m replacing Christine McVie in Fleetwood Mac and joining them on the international leg of the tour.
CS: How has being a mom over the last 11 years changed or shaped the material you present onstage?
SB: Not very much, except now it involves Muppets.
CS: How do you specifically keep up with current events? Is there a regimen of newspapers, mags, shows, etc. that you tear through?
SB: Carrier pigeons deliver my news to me on impeccably rolled scrolls throughout the day. When it rains, the Huffington Post.
CS: Who is at the top of your ‘to read’ list, both book-wise and those who need to be read on the stage?
SB: Honey, there are many people I would like ‘to read’ but not necessarily in book form!
CS: What kind of made-up details would you enjoy adding to your Wikipedia page just to screw with folks?
SB: I like to keep people updated on my African orphan adoptions.
CS: When you ponder the thought of a potential Sandra Bernhard stalker, what images come to mind?
SB: They are chic and glamorous and have a private jet and their own island in the Maldives.
CS: Have you ever had an experience where someone said, ‘You look like that Sandra Bernhard. I hate her.’? How did you deal with it?
SB: I introduce them to my stalker.
CS: What are your three favorite Madonna songs to listen to, and to sing?
SB: ‘Hyperballad,’ ‘Big Time Sensuality’ and ‘’Violently Happy.’ Oh, wait ... those are three songs Madonna wishes she sang.
CS: And finally, why are you so, so faboo?
SB: Because I say so! Don't you agree?
You can e-mail Corey at frozo85@hotmail.com
